Monday, December 12, 2011
Shit, here we go again. I started this blog almost 3 years ago when I was going through some rough times in my life. Everything managed to work out and I was smooth sailing. Up until about 6 months ago. We moved to a new house. I was pregnant with my 5th child. I guess that's when things started to change. I started to notice I wasn't the calm, cool, collected person I normally am. I was tired. My patience was wearing thin. Totally normal though right? Pregnant with baby number 5, of course things are going to be stressful. We welcomed our little bundle of joy into this world on August 31st, 2011. That's when things started to go downhill fast. I had already prepared myself for the baby blues because I normally have a few rough days right after birth. I experienced that and then I was ready for brighter days. Today is December 13th, 2011 and I am still waiting for them. I have anxiety. I'm worried about death constantly. I want to get a million things done, and then don't manage to do anything. I feel unappreciated. I'm angry. I lash out. I feel like my husband and I are a million miles apart. I feel indifferent towards him. I'm tired of being stuck in this place and I want to turn things around. So let the journey begin.